Read Luke 2:41-52
“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” –Luke 2:49
At the age of thirteen, a Jewish boy celebrates his bar mitzvah. (A Jewish girl celebrates her bat mitzvah when she turns twelve.) “Bar” in Hebrew means “son” “bat” means daughter. “Mitzvah” means commandment. So taken together, the bar/bat mitzvah marks when a Jewish child becomes a “child of the commandment.” In modern tradition, this rite of passage is celebrated by the invitation for the child to read from the Torah as part of public worship. From this point forward, they are considered reliable witnesses within the community. They bear responsibility for their own faith, and for their continued learning and observance of God’s commandments.
The modern-day bar mitzvah ceremony did not exist in Jesus’ day; it was developed as a tradition around the twelfth century. However, the understanding of a child transitioning into adult accountability around the age of thirteen was likely true in Jesus’ day. In first-century Judaism, this was when students shifted from the first level of their education (called Bet Sefer, “House of the Book”) to the next (Bet Talmud, “House of Learning”). In fact, it’s possible that Jesus’ trip to Jerusalem would have marked this important transition; it might have been the first time he was able to participate fully in the temple’s observance of Passover.
Jesus’ family would have made this pilgrimage from Nazareth to Jerusalem as part of a large caravan—it was safer for families to travel together. This helps explain why they didn’t notice that Jesus wasn’t with them as they began the journey home. When they realized their son was missing, Mary and Joseph hurried back to Jerusalem, hunting frantically for their lost child. But Jesus no longer behaved as a “child”—he demonstrated his maturity even then, debating with esteemed rabbis and the teachers of the law. Neither was Jesus “lost”—he was exactly where he was supposed to be. He responded to his parents’ anxiety: “Didn’t you know I would be in my Father’s house?”
Jesus had crossed a threshold into adulthood. He was growing into his full purpose and identity, and it had happened right under his parents’ noses, without them even realizing it. Which means it was time for Mary and Joseph to cross a threshold, too. They had to begin letting Jesus go, to grow into the mission and purpose God had given him.
Every parent faces this threshold at some point. Indeed, we cross this threshold in a thousand ways long before we become “empty nesters.” There are the big moments, like when our children leave for their first day at school. And there are small moments, like the first sleepover at someone else’s house. And there are the random moments when we hear our children express their thoughts in a mature and thoughtful way, and we think: “Wow! When did they learn to think like that?!?”
In these moments, we are called to follow Mary’s example, to treasure and ponder the mystery of whom our children are becoming. We may not know the plans that God has for them, but we can trust that God created them for a purpose, and that His plans for them are always good. And with that trust, we can let them go to become and discover all that God created them to be.
O God, we thank you for those whom you have brought into the threshold of our lives–especially the gift of children and grandchildren. We know that we cannot hold onto them forever–in trust, we release them to journey beyond the threshold of our sight, knowing that You will guide their way. Amen.
**I know this is the second day in a row I’m recommending a song, but if you have the time, try listening to Andrew Peterson’s “You’ll Find Your Way,” a wonderful song about letting go.