Alone in the Desert
Read Genesis 28:10-22
When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” –Genesis 28:16-17
Like his forebears before him, Jacob had crossed a threshold he never should’ve crossed. Jacob had spent his entire life yearning and scheming after his brother’s birthright. He longed to be favored by his father in the same way that Esau was. But when he finally acquired that birthright and blessing by deception, it all turned sour.
When Esau discovered what his brother had done, he vowed to kill Jacob. Because Jacob was significantly smaller than his older brother, and because he had committed a nearly unforgivable sin, Jacob was afraid for his life. His only thought was to run away from home, to go and live among his uncle’s family, far away in the land of Paddan Aram, some 500 miles away from Canaan. Jacob had never known any world outside of his home. So we can only imagine how desperate and lonely he must’ve felt that first night in the desert. Forsaken, lost, and alone, he spent that first night out in the open, with only a rock for his pillow.
There in that desolate place, Jacob received a vision. He saw a staircase, extending from the Earth to heaven. And along that ramp, he saw angels ascending and descending. As his head was swimming with his awesome vision, he heard the voice of God, speaking directly to him. Amazingly, the voice of God did not chastise him. God did not chide him for his deceptive behavior; God pronounced no punishment for the wrong he had committed. Instead, God offered him a promise: I will be with you wherever you go. I will offer you protection and hope. And someday in the future, I will bring you back to this place where you are sleeping. This will be your home.
In more ways than one, this is a threshold story. It was, quite literally, the start of a new chapter in Jacob’s life. He was crossing over into a new place and a new future, and he desperately needed the assurance that God offered him—that God would watch over this next stage of his journey.
This knowledge was also an awakening for Jacob. Prior to this moment, it’s unclear whether Jacob possessed any faith of his own. The only time he’d ever used God’s name was in the moment of deception. (When his father had asked how he’d prepared his favorite soup so quickly, Jacob had responded: “The Lord gave me success in my hunt.”) So this was Jacob’s first true confession of faith—the first time he understood that God was not an abstract idea to be used or invoked to get what he wanted, but a Person who was deeply aware of his needs, One with whom he could have a relationship.
Fast forward about thirty years later, and the promise that God made to Jacob that night came full circle. By this time Jacob had married both of his wives. He’d had twelve sons. He’d reconciled with his brother. He’d acquired more wealth and livestock than he ever could have dreamt. So Jacob came back to that same location; he found the rock that he’d used as a pillow during the night set up as an altar the next morning. And in that sacred space, Jacob rededicated himself and his family to God. Thirty years later, he still remembered that fateful moment when God came near.
Have you ever had a moment when God came near to you? When you became acutely aware of how thin the veil is between heaven and earth? If so, think back on what was happening in your life at that time. In what ways might you have felt lost or alone as Jacob did? How did God respond to your need for assurance or guidance?
The good news of this story is this: Even when we feel alone, God is with us. Ironically, it’s often in those moments of wandering and questioning when we encounter God most clearly. That’s when our faith comes alive, and we learn we can truly lean on God’s presence and his promise. Let us give thanks for those moments when heaven comes near!
Thank you, O Lord, for the assurance that the “threshold” between earth and heaven is much nearer than we might think. You are never far from our need. When we feel most alone, that is when You make Your presence known. Thank you for the ways You have shown me Your presence and care for me. Amen.